2019 hurt..
I had lost the driving force in my life, my beautiful devoted mum passed in the June, I was left in a lonely cycle that really wasn’t healthy for me, but I had very few options but to dig in and survive. Our Cafe which ran like clockwork with me and my mums dynamic work ethic, now fell on my shoulders, I had staff, but the family aspect was gone. I now had to work every single day of the year to make small profits.. I had begun coaching the young fighters at Karl Ince’s gym in Catforth, I thrust myself into a heavy schedule in order to avoid grief and to take the mental stress of the business to the back of my mind. I had a new circle, a family at the gym as well as the devotion of my staff.. My closest ally, JD was there unconditionally, a sister not by blood, but someone that I love dearly, the one person that helped me to dig my way out of a dark time without question. JD walked me step by step back to a place where I could think clearly, Christmas was a time I dreaded, but her and her lovely family made it a time that I now look back on in fondness. January I took the time to earn my amateur boxing qualification to be able to coach Karl’s fighters, I had also applied for my Professional licence to the board of control, but I gave myself time to breathe first. Emotionally I was surviving by being driven, and by not offering myself time to dwell. I’m a lone soldier, no brothers... no sisters.. no wife or significant others to think about, my dad was there but unfortunately poorly qualified in the areas required to offer me the support I needed. My days would consist of an
8:30 Start at the Cafe..
2:30 Close Cafe and shop for the following days groceries.
4:00 Boxing gym to coach the youngsters.
7:00 Return to the Cafe to bake and prep for the following day.
11:00 Home.
This routine would run on repeat 7 days a week.
I still maintained a regime of sparring at least 30 rounds a week, I had a rotating roll call of sparring partners and we knew our place. I had recently started to spar angry, I had never done this before, even going back as far as the 1990s when I travelled to spar some quality fighters, it disturbed me because this behaviour wasn’t me. I had to regroup, thankfully my day to day regular sparring partner had patience, Lee is a brother to me, I’ve only honestly known Lee about 4 years but on the day of my mums funeral he was the one man in a room full of people that honestly helped me survive, I’m indebted to him for that, he knows that I love him and despite over 2000 rounds of heated boxing, we never have a cross word and share an immense amount of mutual admiration.
2020 would bring us the Corona Virus.. The cafe was just about supporting me and I was juggling helping my dad out with his banking and Bill paying with my own business finances, then on top of that having to try keep my own home afloat, it was a lonely time, I had nobody to shout my corner and just had to swallow it.
Corona Virus forced me to lay staff off, and attempt to keep a trickle of money coming in by serving take away food and drink on my own, the vibe was eerie, I was lonely with the loss of my mother, the added pressures of having to run 2 homes and a business, now I’m literally lonely every day sat on my own touting for custom. My lightbulb moment was when I thought about the ageing population in our area, scared to death by the Virus and the scandalous news that was piped into the atmosphere, many rarely ventured out to shop. I compiled a 6 meal menu along with 3 desserts, packaged, frozen for freezer to microwave and advertised that I would deliver for free. As soon as I posted on social media my phone blew up, I was taking boxes of food to several families daily, with regular repeat orders, keeping me comfortably afloat, it was encouraging to see my idea succeed but by April it had become exhausting, I was shopping, cooking up to 60 meals on my own, packaging them, stacking them in the freezer, then delivering them to order.. There had to be a better way.
A friend used to drop by on occasion for coffee, on this particular day he noticed that I was looking weary, I explained that I felt a little isolated and knew that my work ethic wasn’t healthy for me in the long term, for the first time I suggested that I had considered letting the cafe go.. My friend had been working with emotionally troubled young people for the past year and always portrayed his job as something he passionately enjoyed... He took a drink of his coffee, smiled at me and said, why don’t you come and do what I do? he told me that I’d be a natural at it.
To that point I had never even thought about care work, but I built up the courage to apply for a vacant position in the same home that he was posted.. I received an invitation to a phone interview and ended up landing myself the position of a support worker and on the condition that I pass my training, was given a starting date.. A new chapter was about to open.
